A Fruitless Search: The Reasons Why Supermarkets are Failing

• I want to buy a can of soup and not worry that it might be half price at the next store. A pot of Tesco Finest fresh soup is £2.40 in one store, and 2 for £2 in another. What the hell? 

• All these silly offers. Cut the crap, and just cut pounds. I don’t need to be confused into whether it’s cheaper to buy peppers individually or in a pack of three or five, and I don’t need three packs of butter in my fridge. With the nation wasting 15 millions tonnes of uneaten food each year, don’t persuade me to buy more than one to get the best deal - just lower the price for one. Give straight discounts and show some self-respect.

• A trip round Tesco metro takes me 45 minutes so don’t get me started on the huge superstores. I want to nip in, find what I want and pay for it, without being led round each display counters, past the pyramid of Philadelphia cheese on offer, and zig zag up every aisle just to find ten items.

• Vouchers. Why on earth do I want a voucher for 5p off strawberry yoghurt? I don’t even eat strawberry yoghurt! They might aim to save you some money on your next shop, but I was really hoping on leaving and never coming back until your receipt machine printed off five different vouchers - money off my first online shop, bonus points for fuel, money off the next time I buy a 5kg bag of rice (just bought one and probably won’t need one for another year), and even more maddening, a voucher telling me how much I could have saved elsewhere. You get my point. 

• Staff who don’t know their aisle 2 from their aisle 32. ‘In the olden days…’ store staff would know your first name, and your ‘usual’ shopping items. They’d know that you came in to shop at exactly 10:30am on a Saturday, and how you like your ham carved. Now it’s just a generation waiting until they can clock out who don’t know much about the produce that they’re selling - I’ve had to describe okra and quinoa to hapless school drop-outs many a time. Waitrose actually succeeds in giving the impression that the staff actually quite like food.

• ‘Ripen at home’. Oh come on! I’d like to find one person who’s never bought a cheaper ‘ripen at home’ avocado and it actually ripened into a soft and creamy avocado. Selling ‘ripe and ready’ fruit at a premium is a joke. The fact that these bananas/plums/nectarines/avocados are 50p cheaper just so you can have it sitting in your fruit basket going from rock-solid to mouldy overnight is obscene.

• No one gives a shit about self-service checkouts. Whilst it was fun five years ago as a teen to ‘scan all your shopping yourself’, the appeal has severely withered away. Despite the fact I am young and tech-savvy, rarely are there any staff attending the self-service checkouts and usually I am stuck in a queue halfway up an aisle whilst the elderly jab at the screens, attempting to swipe a bar code without listening to the instruction that an item has been removed from the bagging area. I know, I know, the machines are over-sensitive and play up and I have been caught out several times, but why have them? You want us to do the job for you but you have to do it anyhow. When you could just be putting more staff on the regular tills. As for “ten items or less” it is “fewer”. Fewer!

Lose lbs, Save Pounds

Despite costly gym memberships, the price of a personal trainer, and waiting lists to get into the local Zumba class, working out doesn’t have to cost a fortune. Or any price for that matter! Stop blaming membership prices for your lack of exercise and start getting fit for free (and plenty more fun, too).

Fitness DVDs. No need to turn your nose up at Jane Fonda rolling around on a stability ball, nor a Z-lister weight-loss DVD. The Ministry of Sound does some good dance workouts, and for the serious fitness bunnies the Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred will soon whittle you into shape. Doing a range of workout DVDs gives you the opportunity to try many different routines and will stave off workout boredom. Push the furniture to the side and turn your lounge into a dance floor to work away your ‘wobbly bits’.

Fitness Store Events. Many local running and athletic apparel stores offer running groups or classes led by certified coaches and trainers, including Sweaty Betty, Nike Training Club and Sweatshop Running. This is a great way to get expert advice and find new workout buddies. Don’t be shy - enquire and a store and give it a go.

Party in the Park. Get a group of friends together and plan a 5k round the park, or get doing outdoor circuits together. This could be doing tricep dips on a park bench, running on uneven terrain, or crunches and lunges on the grass. The more friends you take, the more fun you’ll all have. Wherever you live has to be more scenic than staring at the four walls of your gym from a treadmill.

Don't Take Shortcuts. All around us are short cuts and conveniences: lifts, escalators, trains, cars. Whilst they may make our life a little easier, they certainly don't help our waistline. Get off the tube one stop earlier, don't get the bus and walk instead, or take the stairs - find ways throughout your day to incorporate exercise and extra calorie-burners rather than taking the easy way. These little efforts all add up leading to a high calorie burn overall and trim measurements. 

Get 'Appy. There are hundreds of fitness apps available for smartphones. Couch-to-5k is a free and popular app for those who have never attempted running before, and will soon have you up and setting your own personal best records. Other ones include Adidas MiCoach which provides voice coaching and training plans, Office Yoga, for those workaholics chained to their desk through lunch breaks, Fitness Buddy offering over 300 exercises, and the Nike Training Club app so you can get down and ‘just do it’ with their audio guidance and video demos from top fitness trainers.

Think Drink. You don't need to guzzle sports drinks and fizzy pop to give you energy and keep you fit. H2O does the job perfectly, without the additives and fat-preserving chemicals. What you put in your body is just as important (if not more important) than what you do with your body, and can make all the difference. Substituting fizzy drinks for still unadulterated water is the single best diet, and won't spike your blood sugar levels like sugary drinks and lead to cravings and snacking. Unless you're a professional athlete and training for more than four hours a day, you shouldn't even need lucozade to get through a gym sesh - your body, a bottle of water and a banana at the end of a workout is sufficient without the need for chemicals. 

Scrub Up Well - The Benefits of Exfoliating

Give me a facial salt scrub and I'll scrape off a layer of skin like a sand-grinder. Whilst this is definitely not the method most optimum for cleaning your delicate skin, there are many benefits to a (gentle) regular facial exfoliation, leading to a younger-looking and blemish-free face.

Dermatologists have found that helping your skin with the removal of dead cells will increase cell turnover, revealing newer, healthier skin cells plus a decrease in blackheads, pigmentation and fine lines. Here are five reasons why picking up a pot of microbead exfoliator or salt crystal facial scrub with crushed coffee beans and shards of diamonds (okay, so I made that bit up) could transform your face and help you scrub up. 

Helps Clear Acne & Breakouts

 Exfoliation helps to reduce the occurrence of acne and blackhead breakouts. Acne-prone skin sheds extra skin cells more than other skin types, but the cells do not fall away. Instead, they stick to the skin, clogging pores and hair follicles. As this dead cell debris builds, the skin produces excess follicle oils—which leads to blackheads and blemishes. Regular exfoliation is like “taking out the rubbish”, reducing the likelihood of clogged pores and acne.

1. Improve Your Skins Texture

    Exfoliating the tired, dead cells also speeds up the skin renewal process, allowing new healthy cells to take their place. This process turns your complexion from dull and dry to bright, vibrant, and smooth. In addition, regular exfoliation reduces fine lines and wrinkles and keeps your skin much softer. 

2. Reduces Appearance of Large Pores

    Along with dead cells, exfoliating also removes the dirt stuck deep inside your pores. Washing your skin alone will not accomplish this. When pores become clogged, they appear larger, which is the last thing we all want. By “decongesting” your pores through exfoliation, they will diminish in size and allow your skin a healthy polished glow.

3. Exfoliate Away All Signs of Aging

    As you age, your skin becomes drier and loses plasticity (that magic word!), which can result in lines and wrinkles. You also may find your skin is more rough in texture than it used to be. This is because of the multiple layers of dead skin cells that accumulate of the years. Exfoliators containing renitoid compounds which are effective and safe options to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.

4. Better Absorption

    Serum and moisturizers are better absorbed into skin that’s not blocked by layers of dead cells and dirt. Exfoliating allows your skin to be properly moisturized and stay healthy. Regular exfoliating of your face will aid a smoother application of makeup and will also allow your sunscreen to better protect your skin.

Three of the best.... Cleansers

Elemental Herbology Cool & Clear Oil Control Facial Cleanser - £29 for 100ml

This was given to me as a 'get well' treat from a friend. I love it! It smells gorgeous and is full of glorious botanicals and anti-oxidant ingredients like lavender, tea-tree oil and green tea to fight bacteria and soothe and protect the skin, making you feel like a floral goddess.

The pump action on the bottle ensures that I don't waste too much cleanser, but I do have to pump out 4 to 6 squirts of the stuff to get a 'clean' feeling and even lather over my face. It doesn't foam much but this isn't necessarily a bad thing - it's like a botanical gel for your face which penetrates your face, slowly doing you good. For someone with oily skin, this is great at balancing oil to leave the skin feeling clean and purified. I have taken to using this product as a 'treat' instead a daily cleanser just to make it last a bit longer. 

Boots Tea Tree and Witch Hazel Foaming Face Wash - £3.59 for 150ml

This is a clean-feeling and refreshing foaming cleanser infused with tea tree oil. Being the avid spot-squeezer, I often get into the shower with a red and blotchy face from where I've pinched and poked at my skin. The tea tree and witch hazel is very good at calming down my skin and cleaning out the holes I've made in my face. 

It pumps out as a thick mousse-like foam onto my hand, but as I rub it on my face most of the bubbles 'flatten' and disappear. However, it's very good at removing foundation, dirt and oil, so usually I use this first for my skincare regime. I also like this face wash as it's not too astringent, so I know it won't dry out my skin. Out of all my cleansers and face washes, this is the one that feels like it's ridding my skin of spot-causing bacteria and helping to unblock pores - I also use their toning lotion. 

  

Nip+Fab Glycolic Fix Cleanser - £7.95 for 150ml

I just love Nip+Fab products! They're not overpriced, yet they claim (and seem) to do beneficial and scientific wonders to your skin. I hope to do a 'three of the best' on their other products, but I couldn't miss an opportunity to praise their cleanser. 

When you tip the bottle upside down it sort of pours out like water. I was dubious to start with because usually you don't get much foam out of watery cleansers like this. However, within seconds of hitting my face I was trying not to breathe bubbles up my nose - this is the foamiest cleanser yet, in a really good way. It has a delicate smell of hints of apple and grapefruit, and the 2% glycolic acid aims to exfoliate and retexture, whilst apple amino acids cleanse and purify. My skin feels so hydrated after using this and I feel like I'm doing something good for my skin - to combat the heavy scrubbing I do when I'm using an exfoliator. I always try to hold my breath for as long as possible so I can rub it round my face that little bit longer, before I have to wash it off or breathe the bubbles up my nose.

Party Fever - Beating January Flu's

The first of January is usually a day of starting resolutions with the gusto of Goliath: heading out on that 10k (even if you do come back home after 2k); abstaining from all foods which aren’t kale or beetroot; and putting your new Nutri-bullet juice extractor to good use. Despite all good intentions and insatiable willpower, sadly I spent next four days in bed - and this was not due to the NYE celebrations we had. Upon consulting Siri, I am told that I am not pregnant nor suffering from ebola; rather, I have flu. With symptoms of feverishness, chills, lack of appetite, fatigue, muscle soreness, back and stomach pain, headache, coughing and a sore throat, I can tell I’m in for a ride here - with the added bonus of beating New Year weight-loss resolutions in double time. 

During the fourth evening spent suffering and after another teary-episode about facing another sleepless night, I attempt a ‘vicks bowl’. I’d seen the boyfriend do it once, and if it weren’t for my slightly disturbing fascination with gruesome bodily fluids, our relationship may have been seriously traumatised. It’s basically creating a mini steam room - where, thankfully, no one wants to join you. The Vicks bowl appears to be something of a minor success. Whilst I still feel exhausted, my nose is as dry as the tissue box empty and everything below my chest still feeling below par, I can actually take relatively full breaths, I’m not clearing my throat every ten seconds, and my head feels slightly less pressurised. If all these symptoms return within the next five minutes, a good Vicks steam has shown to be very beneficial to the facial pores and has put me one step towards feeling rather relaxed. Sadly the symptoms do return pretty pronto (throbbing eyes and forehead, aching ears and I think my heart is actually starting to slow down due to regular overdoses of cough syrup). I should really start measuring doses out with a teaspoon instead of drinking estimated gulps of it… in the darkness… whilst half asleep… when looking for ANY solution to end this fix this. Please do not try this at home. I am by no means an advocate of guestimation, particularly when it comes to medication. Or cocktail making. 

The night before I return to work and I’m contemplating adding an extra pair of ski socks - on top of the sports socks and ski socks I already have on my feet - and crawling into the oven, both for warmth purposed and as a way to end this misery. My head feels like a tightly filled balloon, waiting to burst any second and I have a huge lump in my throat - and not because I keep gulping alarming amounts of chesty cough mixture. When I do get to sleep, my body goes into hibernation and I end up sleeping for 12 hours at a time. I am mentally and physically exhausted from this illness which no amount of sleep will cure. I am lucky that by day four of this my muscles and joints have ceased aching every time I move, lift something, or expend marginal energy on a meagre activity like making the bed. 

As a last ditch attempt to ensure a sound night’s sleep (who am I kidding) I slather Vicks VapoRub over my skin - including pointless places like my neck and spine in some vague hope it will penetrate and steam my insides - shove the nozzle of Olbas Oil up my nose like a crack addict, and bury myself under two winter duvet covers and a thick velvet throw, whilst wearing a giant fur-lined hoody. 

I am not usually an ill person, and this sudden knock-down in my prime is not due to my over attentive-ness to hand washing, wet wipes and a steady supply of anti-bac gel. I like to think I have a strong immune system and I always achieve my 5-a-day (and unlike my BF, I know this does not include Terry’s chocolate orange). When the landlord brought his coughing 10-year-old round whilst inspecting our boiler, within minutes of him leaving all door handles and light switches were sanitised to within an inch of their life. 

I blame London, and those infernal bus pillars and tube poles that the filthiest and most unhygienic commuters insist on wiping their noses over. Whilst I try and avoid such germ-havens, the regular jerk of the bus or race to get off may have me clinging onto these poles of death in a bid to stay upright. 

Yesterday we ventured over to Westfield shopping centre (20 minutes from our house) where I proceeded to cough over a Clarins' sales advisor, struggle to eat half a tortilla, breath into my scarf like a deranged psychopath and generally act and sound like a dying pensioner. Is this what dying feels like? Pass me my skinny jeans - I need one last piece of satisfaction before this kills me, whether it’s by chewy vitamin, severe overheating, or my head erupting (finally) over our White Company bed sheets.