Paris at Christmas!

More window shopping today - Galleries La Fayette is the equivalent of London's Selfridges, and so all their windows were 'done up' for Christmas. Not nearly as spectacular or classy as Selfridges, but they were fun and child-friendly. This year they were carrying the theme of 'musicals', so each window was related to a particular musical. I took Catie along and she added to the Christmas spirit with her red coat and singing all the theme tunes!

  

 

Mary Poppins and Singing in the Rain (changed to 'snow') were both great - with mannequins dressed up in the windows and for Mary Poppins, bits and bobs on strings flying out of her carpet-bag, although the photos didn't come out too great because of the glass reflections. There was also West Side Story, Mamma Mia and Hairspray. Printemps had a FANTASTIC window, which I truly loved (and not because it was pretty much completely pink). All of the window displays 'moved' in someway - puppets or items tied to fibre-string, so supposedly moved 'by themselves'. The Printemps window (see below) was set up with loads of tables, with little puppets (very clever) having a big tea part, with huge pink cakes etc. It reminded me of my Textiles project! :)

  

  

A Language the whole world understands

Today Catie and I went to a music lunchtime concert! I was very excited about it, as I've been really missing the sound of my (or any) cello or stringed instrument, and was delighted the other day to arrive at a metro station where there was a small string orchestra performing. 

When Granny came out in October, she bombarded me with several newspaper cuttings and information sheets (anyone who knows her will understand the true meaning of 'bombard'!), including a program sheet of lunchtime concerts put on by the The ECOLE NORMALE DE MUSIQUE (founded in 1919 by the famous pianist Alfred Cortot). The school (probably equivalent of Birmingham Conservatoire etc) has lunchtime concerts every Tuesday and Thursday for students (of 'diplôme supérieur') and music professors to perform to the public (free admission). 


Fortunately Catie and I share similar interests, so we were both pretty excited! Unfortunately I didn't enjoy today's concert so much, as it was dominated by one flautist-professor, and every piece performed included the flute, including a bass flute which looked more like part of a Hoover accessory. However, I can finally admit that I've finally heard someone play actually PLAY a guitar, and that those instruments can do more than play the bass line to a done-to-death rock song. It was good, and just being in the Art Deco concert hall brought back all those endearing memories of my performing days. Ahh. I sound like a circus horse, but it was always nice being on a big floor-boarded stage with grand piano behind me and a (very scary and judgmental-looking) audience in a curve in front of me. 

So, it's definitely something I'll do again - particularly if it's every Tuesday and Thursday, and gets me out of this house. I have a new program of all the December concerts, so hope to get in on some cello-action! :)


Meanwhile, Catie and I decided that Harry Potter is definitely the thing to do this Thursday morning. Expelliarmus, Expecto Patronum and all that jazz. 

Scrimper and Snooper

THEY ARE HERE FOR A WEEK. 
*Going insane*


The grandparents. WILL NOT GO. Even the cleaner can't stand them either - they had a row the other day, to my amusement. Sure enough though, I'd be pretty pissed off if I turned up to find someone had already done my job... by THEIR way, and were insistent that I follow their instructions. Jeeze. Then this morning, the grand-dad had the AUDACITY to have a go at me because 'apparently' I'd been told three times not to pour water down the sink, and to use the washing up bowl (the pipes leak... into ANOTHER washing bowl underneath the sink, so it's not as if it was the end of the world!). I mean, we managed perfectly fine without them and their stupid washing bowls. And I haven't been told 'three times'; I was barked at in French just the one time. 


A week. ONE WEEEEEEEK. *Paddy tantrum on the floor* They are driving me MENTAL. They even prepare all the vegetables for tea by 11am! All the carrots chopped and washed in the designated saucepan. ARGH! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!! I can't DO anything whilst they're here! I feel trapped in my room, whilst they prowl around downstairs. They're a complete pair of MEDDLING MATTY'S. 


I managed to escape from the house for most of Sunday - meeting up with some friends of my Granny, and who I knew when I was little. It was nice to talk a) English and b) about NORMAL things. It was wonderful to see you Kate and Brian! :D

 

Also, we've got SNOW! :) It is quite bitterly cold outside - the house is still a sauna, but temperatures were down to -4oC this morning. And... lacking on sleep: Sunday evening I went to bed with one of the house phones in my room. I usually put it on the landing (OUTSIDE my room) ever since the stranger-in-the-night episode, but this time I was tired and thought 'Ahh, no one will call in the night. Who would be so stupid?' Well yes, who WOULD be so stupid and SELFISH to call at 3.30 AM??? I was half asleep so didn't pick it up, but was ready to throw it out of the window. THREE THIRTY! And no one else bothered to pick it up. Fortunately they didn't re-ring, so I got back to sleep, but OH MY LORD!

Pain in the French Ass

This weekend William’s parents came to stay. It was a bit of a shock to the system to have infuriating old people around in the house. I guess they were here to see that their truly amazing son ‘do them proud’, and show off his amazing skills at turning the dishwasher on. Or cooking a meal all by himself fresh from the freezer packet. OR EVEN put the packet in to the dustbin [gasps from the audience]. What a talented boy. Though they’re obviously waiting ‘til he’s a bit older to teach him the harder things in life such as the many methods of opening an ironing board, as the mother was doing the ironing this morning. Such a breathtaking weekend break! OTHER PEOPLE’S IRONING! WOOP! Let’s all send out postcards!

More infuriating-ness: The grandmother said I shouldn’t put the dishwasher through until fully loaded it because it was very expensive. A good point, although I was putting half the previous wash back through again, because with their whole ‘money saving’ ideas, (since when has this family EVER had the notion to save money?) they put it through on a cooler wash and crammed half the kitchen-ware into it, so it then didn’t go through properly. Maybe that’s why this family DOES throw money around... because their parents were such irritatingly-frugal wimps.

Even more infuriating-ness: The grandparents practically FOLLOWED ME AROUND all morning. I woke up early (dammit) and made the mistake of coming downstairs. Then whilst I was in the kitchen the grandmother kept following me about, informing me the plums were either too ripe or not ripe yet (didn’t understand her French), despite the fact I wasn’t planning to have a plum, and just interfering. OH MY GAWD. Just reminiscing about it makes me want to bang my head against my make-shift MDF computer desk. I soon shot back upstairs.

Also, whoever said that the countryside is quiet was obviously an old deaf farmer living underground in his war bunker, as this morning I opened my skylight to Paris Dawn, and it was absolutely silent. It was quieter than a Quaker meeting. It was amazing. 

The Animal Inside

Another superb day. Wowee, I’m on a bit of a roll here! This morning I went into Paradise-that-is-known-as-Paris, and did some shopping. I started off at Concorde, with good old WH Smiths (‘THE English bookshop in the whole of Paris’) giving in to my magazine addiction and coming out with British Vogue (a super duper edition this month) and Heat magazine. Then I worked my way up Rue Rivoli, towards Chatelet stopping at nearly every shop, and taking photos of all the designer shops (miu miu, Dianne Von Furstenberg, Gucci, CHANNEL, Mulberry, D&G, you name it). H&M had the top I wanted, the Super-size Sephora store had the soap I wanted... It was pretty much perfect. My aim for today was to buy a fur coat, so I was heading towards Rag and Vertiges, near Centre Pompidou. Finally made it, and spent a while trying on a LOT of dead animals. Who knew it could be so fun?! Although I put on one coat and it was so heavy, the goat/yak/mammoth might as well have sat on my shoulders! 

So, Super-Aunt said my bag LOOKS like a mauled cat, but now I have a coat that IS a mauled cat. Bad joke.
Had to take a photo of the pretty Patisserie windows - they really are a piece of cake! :P TWO bad jokes. 

  

 

Also, each time I do a Christmas shop in Sephora, they ask if it's a present (which is is), and then they put the items in a plastic silver bath with fancy paper and gift wrap it all up... Which is very lovely and all, but I now appear to have three silver baths in my room, and a mission of 'reasonably' light packing when I come home for Christmas. Oh well... IT'S CHRISTMAS. 

So, I returned home, with several shopping bags (I guess the feelings of delight from my half-term shopping spree in England have worn off), a huge fur coat (so, so beautiful), yet another silver bathtub, and feeling pretty exhausted. But, no rest for the girls in Paradise, as I was off out again at 7 to meet up with some French friends for the evening. And it was pretty amazing! And a bunch of nationalities – Morgane and her friend were French, but one guy was American, another was Irish, another was Italian... and so we all spoke French. It was a really good evening, and SO NICE to have people speaking English – able to translate, and to hear such beautiful American!! 

We went to a African bar in Jussieu (a hangman killer!), which provided a whole new experience for me! We sat underground in a small 'cubby' area, with sofas covered in hide and little African-carved stools. One of the guys ordered for us, and soon we received a huge dustbin-lid-sized dish, full of [I'm not exactly sure...] but included onions (always a winner with me!), and a plate of plain savoury crepes. The trick it to tear a piece of crepe, place it over the mush-in-the-dish, and scoop it up. It was a very similar action to picking up that accidental dog poop with a tissue in a children's playground, or the dead mouse the cat just brought in with some kitchen roll. Lav-ly. Despite being totally appalled by the whole idea of eating-with-your-fingers, which I still find utterly yukky, it was an eye-widening experience particularly for Paris, AND they even (thankfully) gave us sachets of warm hand wipes after. Saved! And if I ever go to Africa, I now know to take an extra suitcase stuffed with wet wipes. 

284 Steps

Today I met up with my English-but-in-Paris friend, Catie for a small (belated) birthday celebration and... because it's nice to see friends. And have a reason to squeal 'OH MY GOD' several times and run about Charles de Gaulle metro in excitement (well, nearly) and sit in a Parisian cafe for hot chocolate without feeling the need to act Parisian. It was very exciting, and she also bought me some b-e-a-utiful roses for my birthday. And, as it was such a lovely day, we even went up to the top of The Arc de Triomphe! :) I still hadn't been because I was waiting for a clear day, and today seemed perfectomundo! It was only after we'd got our tickets (free for under 26s) that I remembered there being nearly 300 steps up to the top! (Luckily we had practical footwear - I nearly came in heeled boots!) So we set our muscles in momentum and missioned our way to the top where we were greeted with beaming sunshine and a panoramic view of Paris. Ooh la la! 

So finally, some PICTURES!!! :)

 

 

Happy Days

Ok, so WOW my optimism has been mind-blowing this week! :) 
Yesterday I sent out an email to some lucky people from the same au-pair site I'd used - they were all my age (by coincidence), able to drive and cook, and looking for a short period to au-pair. I think just writing about it (in a positive, 'BUY THIS!' way) made me realise how amazing this experience is! And even just the thought of having to LEAVE it all in April - with only 2 months to go - is actually really sad! So now I've been making the most of everything! (And no, that doesn't mean free telephone calls with the house phone), but just enjoying my time here, seeing the funny side of everything and being happy with and for the family. Because they really are lovely, Even when they won't get out of bed until we need to leave in the mornings, and then William tells me I need to leave the house at five to eight, or when Crazy Caroline comes back and raids the kitchen whilst I'm seconds away from serving tea, or she starts eating tea OUT of the cooking pot with the spoon I was using, or when Marie-the-Menace insists on taking Speedy in the car, even though I know I'll be the one to have to bring it back... It's a bag of laughs! 

Today, by some MIRACLE, I managed to see the new Harry Potter. Most of the cinema times were too late to go, so I was pinning all my hopes on this 9.45am showing in Chatelet Les Halles. What I hadn't planned was Juliette calling me as I had my foot out the door (after loading and putting the dishwasher through, tidying all three rooms and putting all the towels through the washing machine) asking me to come and pick her up. At 9am. Do these girls actually EVER go to school? So grudgingly (but of course, with a big optimistic smile on my face at how lucky I am and amazing my life is) I got in the car and picked her up from school. 

I dropped her back at home, parked the car, and ran down the the station and fortunately there was a train waiting at the station (see how LUCKY I am?!). However, the downside, is that all the morning trains seem to be MUCH slower than usual... maybe to reduce the number of people missing the trains? Anyway, it practically CRAWLED through all the stations, with several 'rests' in between stations, whilst I continually kept checking my beloved Blackberry for the time. 5 minutes to go. 3 minutes to go. Remember, there's always 15 minutes of adverts... 2 minutes... 

AMAZINGLY, (did she do it? did she get there?) I got to the ticket booth at exactly 9.44am. Just. Amazing. The ticket man was really nice, and I even spoke pretty amazing and understandable French! And I was in time, exactly, for the start of the adverts. (I do love all the adverts.) SO, I've finally got to see the new Harry Potter! It came out in Paris yesterday, but EVERYONE seems to have seen it in England twice over! I'd expected the cinema to be packed, but it was only about 60% full (look at me with my maths skills!) - I guess people (kids) were either waiting for the weekend, or were seeing the dubbed version instead. 

So it was a pretty eventful day! I did another spot of Christmas shopping after the cinema, and got home to a fantastic email to one of my au-pairing applicants who's travelling round the world and currently in Australia. I bombarded my reply with heaps of photos of the house/rooms etc  which she'd been asking about. Then this afternoon is HAILED!! I mean, I dread to think what it's like in England. Usually when it's 'ok' in England it's heatwave-weather in Paris, so if Paris is bad, jeeze - bring out the sandbags and stock up for the Winter peeps!! 

Hmm. Now the question is: what shall I poison the family with tonight for supper? :D 

Cinderella

Out of boredom, I spent about 2 minutes of my life completing a Facebook 'which Disney princess are you' and I wasn't surprised to see 'Cinderella' as my answer. Haha. Still waiting for my Fairy Godmother to save me... Note to self: must find magic wand. 

 

Other than this battle-aftermath I had to clear up after the weekend, this week has been surprisingly good so far! I'm not sure if it's because it IS just 'good', or because I'm getting used to the shit the happens, and have worked out the 'cheats'. Crazy Caroline also appears to have her head screwed on properly this week, which helps! 

Monday I returned back from tennis pretty tired out from the day, but - no worries - went to the freezer and within minutes had macaroni cheese pasta with bacon on the table for tea. WHAT A DAWG! :) Of course, I must emphasise that under no circumstances would I ever feed my own children plastic freezer crap (the macaroni cheese looked absolutely REVOLTING, but the girls went crazy over it!), but in this case it's not as if I ever get thanked for my special home cooking cooked from fresh, so crap-for-tea it is then. 

Countdown till Christmas hols: 23 days. :):) 

Also, I've realised that my school exams come next Summer, when technically I'm still needed here to run those brats - sorry, kids- around to school, so I've decided to start searching for a new au-pair. I feel mean, dragging some poor un-knowing girl into this whirlwind of an adventure, but I'm not going to lie to them. Because in all truth, this family are VERY friendly, and it IS an experience of a lifetime with skills and times I will never forget, and everything has its flaws really. I may not point out QUITE the amount of mess this family makes, but maybe it won't get to them as much. Also, it means I can 'prep' them for coming (an extra bonus for them) - be an au-pair agony aunt and provide information for them such as maps, directions, things to do and other helpful tips, which I'd have found useful, even if I'd at least been given a MAP when starting out here. 

First Days of Christmas...

I hate to admit it, but today was the first day since before half term that I actually got onto the metro and went to Paris. I know. AWFUL. I'm ashamed to admit it. It's just been cold, and rainy, and I've been trying to come to terms with WHY I ever thought it would be a good idea or 'fun' as I think I might have once expressed to return back here. Hahaha. It's not that bad. I'm looking forward to next week. Really! And I'm not even being bribed to say it! 

I decided to go to Chatelet Les Halles for some good SHOPPING. Plus, there is trusty New Look and H&M, so I'd be 'easing' myself back into the whole French shopping experience. I started off with Sephora, France's equivalent of The Body Shop. It was pretty amazing - all set up for Christmas, and as you walk in there is a whole wall of soaps, bath bombs, gels and soap scrubs ALL ARRANGED BEAUTIFULLY in colour code. :) I also officially started my Christmas shopping today, but I can't go ON AND ON about how I had to buy not-one-but-FOUR of an item because it is actually SO AMAZING because they're presents. And I'd ruin the wholoe 'surprise' part if I announced it over the internet. But these *special* presents are a girl's best friend. ;) (Sorry, no diamonds involved...)


This 'tree' is in the centre of Chatelet Shopping Mall. And, as you can also see, it was very sunny and hot today. HOT! And my heart got pretty excited when I was wandering amongst the shelves of shoes in New Look. Can't believe it's taken me this long to get back into the Pulse of Paris! 


I also went to the cinema this afternoon - hoping to catch the new Harry Potter until I realised that despite England and France only being an hour or two apart, Harry Potter is not released until next week. So in the words of Ron Weasley, 'bloody hell!'. Anyway, I definitely was not disappointed with my decision to see The Social Network. Again. The fourth time of seeing it. (It's still amazing!)


So, back home, TRYING to ignore the aftermath of what looks like a Rihanna-style food fight in the kitchen and currently camping out in my room. :) Feel free to comment on posts or become a follower! It'll brighten my day even more. :)

End of the Week

So someone was asking what had actually happened to my laptop. For a laugh I decided to brave it and take a photo... :S You can also see to the left (not exactly difficult) my hefty monitor. *cringe* And it even makes that really loud buzz noise when you turn the screen on! Hahaaa. What next, dial-up connection sounds??!

The French would say in this case, 'oups'. 

An end to another shitty week, although not as awful I don't think as the last week. Today topped it though when CRAZY, CUCKOO, CATACLYSMIC, DERANGED, ERRATIC and absolutely SENSELESS Caroline asked that I make NOT-ONE-BUT-TWO cakes for some event on Sunday. OH. MY. GOD. 

It's like she was thinking (maybe she's sneakily clever after all): 'Oh, well I can't cook a cake to save my life (what do you use... milk and grapes for the sponge?) so let's make full use of Connie whilst she's still working and get her to cook cakes on Friday so I can have my cakes and eat them on Sunday.' Bahhhh. Anyway, I had two spare packets of cake mix left (SERIOUSLY, message to all au-pairs: CAKE MIX!) so threw those in the oven. I'm just in PURE AMAZEMENT. And these aren't the first cakes I've cooked this week! Yesterday I was told by the cleaner I had to cook a cake (what am I now, the cook??) because it was Saint Aude's day. Wow. Round of applause there. I had to bake a cake because someone in the family is called Aude. JEEZE PURLEAZE. At first I though maybe it was some holiday - you'know - like St George's/ St Patrick's, and horrified myself when, after an internet search, I found that EVERY DAY is a Saint's day... OMG. Anyway, you guessed it, pre-made cake mix in the oven. I then extemporaneously stuck some smarties on the top for a bit of WILD home decoration.

27 Days until home again! :D TWENTY SEVEN DAYS until carpet under my toes, LIGHTS in my bedroom and CURTAINS. I feel like a deprived Somalian child! 

Please Santa, can I have a dog for Christmas? 

Come on ROCK MY WORLD

I have to admit, today didn't turn out SO unbelievably awful...

I downloaded some music tracks off Margot's laptop which I'd fallen in love with yesterday during my 3-hour wait, and also received the new Rihanna CD from my Aunt. :) It made me remember my last night in the UK at the end of half term when we sat watching the X-Factor Results with Rihanna performing. Then when William came back with some shopping, I was alarmed to see a huge bright pink box, with hearts and curly writing all over it, and assumed he'd gone out and bought me a revolting PINK cake. I love Pink. Just not on cakes. I am quite relieved that my aunt was the only person I moaned about it to, as it turned out that the pink box with hearts was actually a crate of Pink Lady Apples! My absolute FAVOURITE. I can't get them in the local supermarket (they only sell truly foul apples), and they are SO expensive at the local fruit stall. I told him ages ago I liked those ones, when asking for extra money to buy fresh fruit, but I don't think he even realised how much his crate-buying would mean to me. I am SO touched. And amazed! (Somewhere in there is a small bunch of brain-cells!) It has made my day. :D

Then the cleaner came, and despite her having a one-sided yelling match at me (whilst I stared at her blankly and really couldn't care less or even try to understand her gobbledygook) I managed to get out of standing around and watching her cook a chicken. She also yelled at Marie which made my day, because it's about time SOMEBODY knocked a bit of reality into her head! Her water work performance added about 15 minutes to the clock, so we were a bit late to pick up Juliette and Margot from Tennis, but it was entirely worth it. *Evil Laugh*

Another ray of sunshine to my day, is the bombardment of birthday messages on my Facebook page!! I love you guys so much! Even the most random people I haven't seen for ages/spoken to/ hardly knew/ only met once wrote on my wall. IT MEANS A LOT. I feel so loved. :) 

People are planning parties and celebrations for me when I return to England, so I look forward to those (but mainly for seeing people!). And I'm now currently listening to my amazing new music tracks. Usually when I find a good new song, I play it on repeat tout-les-temps, but this time I have FIVE new songs! :O

A not so happy Birthday

Someone wrote the most hilarious message ever in a birthday card today: hope you have a lovely birthday doing nice things. The thing is, I think they were being serious. Nice things? In this household? THE IRONY. And of ALL DAYS, my birthday had to fall on a Wednesday. CHEERS. 

I was really hoping my birthday would go unnoticed by the family. This morning was usual – asked last minute to take Marie shopping this morning to get some more trading cards, and ended up having to go to the vets, WHILST collecting Juliette at the same time... But disaster struck when I returned home and somehow they’d discovered it was my birthday. 

William had ‘attempted’ to prepare a big meal, and had bought a few things this morning, so I’m not going to start listing all the faults and problems with it. He asked if I liked fish and I stupidly said yes. Oh well, I won’t be lying when I tell him ‘NO’ next time! I’m now left clutching onto my life strings and hoping I’ll pull through after that... uncooked and very mixed-up meal. I am currently gasping for vegetables and feeling very ill. 

This afternoon William said the cleaner was coming, and would be teaching me to cook meat. Er, thanks but no thanks. I already know how to cook meat – it’s not my fault he wants half a cow served up for dinner each night. Oh the highlight to my birthday. Being barked at by a stubborn, difficult incomprehensible cleaner. There is no way I am touching raw chicken. PARTICULARLY on my birthday. I’d even consider sitting through a matinee of Belle Amie and Katie Waissel and try not to cry or through banana skins at them. 

Driving round the Bend

Here’s another tip for the book: Take a loo trip before a car journey into depths of the unknown. 

This morning (unfortunately not courteous enough to warrant being called Clooney right now) handed me a sheaf of papers with directions, crossed out and bad scribbles marking an alternate route. Somehow, by some Act of God, I was supposed to take Juliette and Margot to a tennis tournament. 

After finally getting them in the car this evening, I typed in the address for the destination, which William instructed me to do (but to ignore the first set of directions). He also added that Juliette and Margot knew the route. So what the hell were we doing in Paris Centre (YESTHAT’SRIGHT: THE-CENTRE-OF-PARIS) an hour later since leaving, and utterly and hopelessly LOST? I have no idea, except that by then my bum muscles had gone numb from being tense from risking my life!! Driving on the periphique in pitch black for the first time is not my idea of fun. 

One minute the GPS was saying we were 9km from the destination, and then it sprang up to 14km. The whole journey I listened to Juliette's directions, which seemed to be the opposite of what the GPS was telling us. Margot sat in the back with her iPod on full volume. Still lost, close collisions, and still nowhere near. 

I saw a sign at one point to Versailles, and could have sworn that a huge green-roofed diner we passed was the same one I passed coming back from Calais. Seriously, had I seen a sign for ‘Calais’, ‘Dunkerque’ or ‘Channel Tunnel’, I’d have taken it regardless. Juliette could have been beating me with her Tennis racket and I still would have made a bee-line for the Channel crossing; white knuckles clenched round the steering wheel and a very determined look on my face. I’m sure Margot wouldn’t have noticed a thing – still sitting in the back with her music. 

Eventually the Sat-Nav lady piped up – funny how they only come in use when you’ve already worked out the route – and we’d finally managed to turn round and head back on the periphique and in the direction of the tennis venue. 

Still in amazement at how we finally got to the place... Although I feel like I’ve been blindfolded, spun round a hundred times and then told to find my way back home!

I miss getting emails and notifications on my BlackBerry. I miss my friends, I miss the way English toilet bleach actually cleans the toilet bowls. I miss the times I was able to walk round with my laptop without it being chained to a boxy external screen. 

So I’m sitting in the car waiting for the girls to finish their tournaments. They said they could be 20 minutes or 3 hours. Secretly, I hope they lose. Winning only means more car journeys and getting lost on the way to the consequent tournaments. Margot generously parted her head from her iPod headphones, and the first song on shuffle? Misery, by Maroon 5. Thanks for that. Really needed that boost of confidence.

Two hours later, I’m still in the car and actually half way through a Diana Vickers’ song. WHAT is the world coming to? (And why does Matgot have this claw-wielding X-Factor reject on her iPod?)


FINALLY back home, and I shot upstairs like a mountain goat to shut out everything else. I’M about ready to beat William with a tennis racket! Tomorrow I’ve been informed (WOW – a whopping 14 hours notice!! – huge improvements!) the dog is going to the vets. I’m still confused as to who is taking the shit-bag, but I absolutely refuse to go. Tie me up and force me into a staring competition with Aiden Grimshaw, but there is NO WAY I am chauffeuring that flea-infestation around for the morning.

Blue Skies

I have just literally taken this photo. It's put a much-needed smile on my face! Fresh air with a light summery breeze, and just when you thought you'd never see the sun again, I have cloudless skies. :D

Pretty Easy Going

This morning didn't feel such a battle to get everyone up and out, although partly because I was so mad about having to do all the weekend's washing up, William was probably repelled by my 'force field'... I mean, I don't think anyone would enjoy getting up on Monday morning, and particularly when faced with the task of having to scrape off congealed rice from saucepans with their fingernails before they could actually get started with anything/everything else. So whilst I was busy clearing up the weekend's mess, William was busy using all the remaining cutlery and plates to sort out breakfast for him and the girls. 

Marie's been less of a menace to me recently, so the school run was a lot easier and quicker. And the sun's out today! Also, I take back what I said to anybody about the under-ground cinema being 'over-rated'. I've completed re-designed how I'd have a cinema in my own house based on the one here, AND it's pretty awesome having a real life-size Robert Pattinson on your screen. ;P I think it may be my favourite room in the house... not least because it's the cleanest!! 

 

Achievement of the day: I've booked my train ticket home!!! WOOO! It was a very stressful procedure, and the site kept crashing and when I went back all the prices had hugely increased, but I finally managed to get the 'best' price, although I still think it's pretty ridiculous. They really should have a standing area - I mean, toddlers go free providing that they 'sit on an adult's lap', so if they're charging for bums on seats, can't I perch in the luggage area?

I hope the rest of this week is as good as I feel today. :D

Cardinal Sins

So, earlier this week I spent ages one evening cooking Paella. Rice with a tangy curry-hit to it, peas and peppers, and a melange of fish and crustations: succulent squid, mussles, white fish, - even octupus, and also chorizo pieces. It looked wonderful. But then disaster struck, when it appeared the only person around that evening for dinner was Margot! (No one tells me anything round here... I'm just the au-pair!)

I guess it's just as well it all came out of pre-pared frozen packet. 

Then yesterday, we'd run out of food, and I needed snacks for the girls for after school/before tennis, so I decided that the solution to having no sweet snacks was to MAKE SOME. After searching online for 'cakes without butter' (one of the main ingredients...), and realising that it was very unlikely we'd even have eggs, I remembered I'd brought some (hushed tones please) pre-prepared cake mix a while ago for Margot's party! It looked more like snot-in-a-bag, but it said 'cake' on the front, so it'd do. Yet another tile-creation, as these definitely-NOT-cake tins are so shallow, and the metal seems to be stopping them all from rising. At all! 

Au-pair tip: stock up on cake mix! (I can't believe I'm encouraging the purchasing of cake mix!! - unless it's Betty Crocker's Cookie Dough. There's no beating that!). It is a LIFE-SAVER. And comes with hardly any washing up! I did come prepared with the Betty Crocker cookie dough, but I figured it was wayy too good to waste for 'after school snacks'. Particularly with girls who don't appear to have the word 'merci' in their vocabulary. 

On another note, it has RAINED. ALL. WEEK. I think I may be getting Cabin Fever...

Just Another Manic Monday...

After another stressful morning – this time arriving down to all the pans and plates used in last night’s meal, which I for once had no involvement whatsoever. And as if cooking the oh-so-sophisticated and cuisine-skilled Pasta al cheese could create so much washing up, but how wrong you are. Needless to add, by morning it was cold, congealed and all kindly left for me. Welcome to MONDAY. 

By the afternoon I’d really had enough, so if the word ‘shit’ hasn’t seeped into Marie's vocabulary then I gave the word ‘fuck’ a really good go when I went to switch the car on at the school, and it wouldn’t turn on. With all the car problems I’ve ever experienced, I knew from last time that it was the battery. Again. To cut a long story short, we were eventually saved by Crazy Caroline’s father. He drove the girls to Tennis, and for once it was nice to sit in the passenger seat (with the added bonus of heated seats!), despite having to painfully watch him take detour after detour, ending up with a half-hour car journey to Tennis. 

We returned to the car to charge it up via his, and through a lot of pointing and VERY un-comprehensive French, I managed to show him how to lift the bonnet of his car up, and when he was trying to tear up his engine looking for the battery, I attempted to explain that the cables clip under the lid of the battery. (Not exactly rocket science, although maybe this SuDoku is doing more than I expected for my brain!)

So now the whole family think I’m some miraculous mechanic, despite the fact I was standing between the cars clutching my bag which my Aunt says ‘looks like a mauled cat’, and pointing my finger at various engine parts. I feel like one of those tomboy-girls from Chick-flicks who say 'I grew up on a farm with seven brothers...'. 

If the car’s broken again tomorrow, it means I get the Renault Clio again. I really hope it won’t start. *sneaky laugh*

Watching them watching back

After this morning’s episode, I took myself off to la gym. It’s nice having something constructive to do AWAY from the house and family, though it can get quite freaky at the gym with the types of people there. People weren’t wrong when they told me ‘the French are weird’! 

Let me explain. I’m on the cross trainer, in the centre of the gym. The line of cardio machines faces the main ‘pathway’ through the gym, so I can see pretty much everyone. It’s normal for people who enter the gym to shake hands of people they know. (Ehh, no I don’t want your sweaty palm!) Fortunately I’m not one of the people they know. Then there’s the people who really just stand and stare right into your face. Or my face at least. No, I’m not a celebrity. Do I even look like one?! It’s quite freaky. Then you get the groups of women who meet there, and do the weights or stair-master together and gossip about the horror of ‘manger du fromage’ and quite possibly how Jacquleen has gained 3 big ones. (I’m making this up. I actually have no idea what they’re gossiping about either side of me!) And there’s a mysterious majority of guys who really spend their time at the gym walking up and down the path. Eyeing themselves in the all-around mirrors, (what a bunch of girls) and then – of course – staring at people in the face. Do they ever actually use any of the machinery??! *Raise eyebrow*

My own personal gym habits include mouthing the words to all the tracks I listen to. I probably scared a lot of people with my ‘scary face’ whilst (silently) singing along to ‘I like the way you move’ which is sung by a really creepy stalker-sounding guy. I think he was aiming for ‘sexy’ but ended up for ‘perve’. But the main tune bit is good to work out to. I probably must have looked quite mental whilst (silently) rapping along to Kanye West, with my mouth moving nineteen to the dozen and then bouncing around to Natasha Bedingfield on the skater machine. Listening to Avril Lavigne pulls ‘why are things so complicated?’ faces, and Lady Gaga presents a ‘robot/pretty insane already’ look. I have to stop myself every so often just to relax my facial expressions and stop looking like a complete weirdo. Fortunately I’m too busy clinging onto the handle bars to start subconsciously doing hand actions (reaching for the stars and punching the air...). 

So really, French gyms are full of weirdo’s. Including silent mouthing singers. *cough cough*

By the time I’d finished my silent singing practise, it was raining, and I had no other option but to run home in the rain. My hoody seems to have shrunk in the wash, so the hood bit hardly covered even half of my head. I arrived home pretty drenched to say the least! I am particularly missing the thick carpets in Rosie’s house, and the feeling of being inside warm and cosy whilst it’s raining like hell outside!

Someone is currently playing around with a guitar – something I can’t stand! I am still waiting for the day to hear someone who can ACTUALLY play something on a guitar. A tune, please. You know – the things with NOTES and a melody. Not the bass line to ‘SMOKE ON THE WATER’. Or plain pitiful strumming. Arghhhh!

Party Aftermath

I woke up this morning to find the kitchen and most of downstairs in quite a tip! Almost as if the party had happened here... Out of kindness combined with my OCD-ness, I cleared most things away, and loaded up the dishwasher. It looks as if the family brought back any leftovers, acquiring other food I hadn’t seen before – such as boxes of chocolate covered marshmallow logs and chocolate tortes. I’ll take it as a good sign that none of my cakes have returned, meaning that everyone really enjoyed them and gobbled them down, not that they were so awful I poisoned half the children and the other half were too sick to eat anything else!! 

I’d just finished tidying the kitchen when Clooney and Crazy Caroline started rowing upstairs. Unless I’ve spoken to you frequently, you won’t know that they don’t actually live together! They’re not divorced... and the girls seem to think it’s normal and they’re not separated, but every other week they each have their own ‘James Bond style’ double lives. Bit of a Mr and Mrs Smith situation going on here! In short, they ALSO have an apartment right in the centre of Paris (ooh la la!), so one week the mother lives HERE (at home) whilst the Dad takes his Ferrari Porshe to their fancy Manhattan-esque apartment, and then the following week they switch. There – in one sentence for you! In total, they’ve spent two entire nights here together. Yesterday was obviously night #2 they slept under the same roof, but if anyone needed a wake-up call this morning, they sure go one at 9.30 when Clooney and Crazy Caroline started screaming at each other. Well, Crazy-o was screaming. Then she was stomping round the house and slamming doors. I’ve already told loads of people she acts like a twelve year old. 

So I was trapped in the kitchen, not really wanting to go back upstairs pass them to get to my room, and with nothing else really to clean. Soon Crazy-o came downstairs and I scampered back upstairs to my annex room. I felt a bit sorry for her, and stupidly ended up going back downstairs... They were all having a family breakfast, so I politely joined them. Clooney was being all jokey and talking to the kids, whilst Caroline refused to look or speak to him, munching Nesquick choco balls out of the packet. (Did I mention she acts like a twelve year old?!) It was like watching a pair of stroppy teenage siblings ignore each other, except the fact that... THEY’RE NOT TEENAGERS! And they’re not siblings either, but that’s beside the point. So I was trying to make small talk, with my (still) non-existent French, mainly asking about the party. I was also trying to eat my apple as loudly as possible, to break the awkward silence! How I wish I’d never sat down. Juliette eventually got up, so I followed to go. She apologised in the kitchen about the arguing earlier, which left me feeling even more sorry for her! 

This week I have four kids to look after. Crazy Caroline included! I swear she’s like a food magnet – she walks into the kitchen and POW! Food just comes flying out of the cupboards, dirty spoons appear on the side, biscuit and cake crumbs all over the work top, and all the cupboard doors left open... It drives me mental. She came home Friday evening, whilst I was cooking pasta, and I ended up using three spoons whilst cooking it, because she kept on taking my stirring spoon to eat something else in the kitchen. You know something? IT’S IRRITATING. She also took a big finger-full of leftover buttercream which I’d made for the Victoria Sponge, put it in her mouth and then oh-so-politely ran to the bin and spat it out. Most likely because it’s entirely sugar and butter, but it was her own stupid fault.