Pain in the French Ass

This weekend William’s parents came to stay. It was a bit of a shock to the system to have infuriating old people around in the house. I guess they were here to see that their truly amazing son ‘do them proud’, and show off his amazing skills at turning the dishwasher on. Or cooking a meal all by himself fresh from the freezer packet. OR EVEN put the packet in to the dustbin [gasps from the audience]. What a talented boy. Though they’re obviously waiting ‘til he’s a bit older to teach him the harder things in life such as the many methods of opening an ironing board, as the mother was doing the ironing this morning. Such a breathtaking weekend break! OTHER PEOPLE’S IRONING! WOOP! Let’s all send out postcards!

More infuriating-ness: The grandmother said I shouldn’t put the dishwasher through until fully loaded it because it was very expensive. A good point, although I was putting half the previous wash back through again, because with their whole ‘money saving’ ideas, (since when has this family EVER had the notion to save money?) they put it through on a cooler wash and crammed half the kitchen-ware into it, so it then didn’t go through properly. Maybe that’s why this family DOES throw money around... because their parents were such irritatingly-frugal wimps.

Even more infuriating-ness: The grandparents practically FOLLOWED ME AROUND all morning. I woke up early (dammit) and made the mistake of coming downstairs. Then whilst I was in the kitchen the grandmother kept following me about, informing me the plums were either too ripe or not ripe yet (didn’t understand her French), despite the fact I wasn’t planning to have a plum, and just interfering. OH MY GAWD. Just reminiscing about it makes me want to bang my head against my make-shift MDF computer desk. I soon shot back upstairs.

Also, whoever said that the countryside is quiet was obviously an old deaf farmer living underground in his war bunker, as this morning I opened my skylight to Paris Dawn, and it was absolutely silent. It was quieter than a Quaker meeting. It was amazing.