Watching them watching back

After this morning’s episode, I took myself off to la gym. It’s nice having something constructive to do AWAY from the house and family, though it can get quite freaky at the gym with the types of people there. People weren’t wrong when they told me ‘the French are weird’! 

Let me explain. I’m on the cross trainer, in the centre of the gym. The line of cardio machines faces the main ‘pathway’ through the gym, so I can see pretty much everyone. It’s normal for people who enter the gym to shake hands of people they know. (Ehh, no I don’t want your sweaty palm!) Fortunately I’m not one of the people they know. Then there’s the people who really just stand and stare right into your face. Or my face at least. No, I’m not a celebrity. Do I even look like one?! It’s quite freaky. Then you get the groups of women who meet there, and do the weights or stair-master together and gossip about the horror of ‘manger du fromage’ and quite possibly how Jacquleen has gained 3 big ones. (I’m making this up. I actually have no idea what they’re gossiping about either side of me!) And there’s a mysterious majority of guys who really spend their time at the gym walking up and down the path. Eyeing themselves in the all-around mirrors, (what a bunch of girls) and then – of course – staring at people in the face. Do they ever actually use any of the machinery??! *Raise eyebrow*

My own personal gym habits include mouthing the words to all the tracks I listen to. I probably scared a lot of people with my ‘scary face’ whilst (silently) singing along to ‘I like the way you move’ which is sung by a really creepy stalker-sounding guy. I think he was aiming for ‘sexy’ but ended up for ‘perve’. But the main tune bit is good to work out to. I probably must have looked quite mental whilst (silently) rapping along to Kanye West, with my mouth moving nineteen to the dozen and then bouncing around to Natasha Bedingfield on the skater machine. Listening to Avril Lavigne pulls ‘why are things so complicated?’ faces, and Lady Gaga presents a ‘robot/pretty insane already’ look. I have to stop myself every so often just to relax my facial expressions and stop looking like a complete weirdo. Fortunately I’m too busy clinging onto the handle bars to start subconsciously doing hand actions (reaching for the stars and punching the air...). 

So really, French gyms are full of weirdo’s. Including silent mouthing singers. *cough cough*

By the time I’d finished my silent singing practise, it was raining, and I had no other option but to run home in the rain. My hoody seems to have shrunk in the wash, so the hood bit hardly covered even half of my head. I arrived home pretty drenched to say the least! I am particularly missing the thick carpets in Rosie’s house, and the feeling of being inside warm and cosy whilst it’s raining like hell outside!

Someone is currently playing around with a guitar – something I can’t stand! I am still waiting for the day to hear someone who can ACTUALLY play something on a guitar. A tune, please. You know – the things with NOTES and a melody. Not the bass line to ‘SMOKE ON THE WATER’. Or plain pitiful strumming. Arghhhh!